Friday, January 11, 2008

VERDICT IS IN...

So, before I get to the big D-Day results,I would just like to tell y'all a bit about my day leading up to the elusive weigh in (oh the humanity of me keeping you in suspense!!). First of all, I had a major-relapse of sorts with this stupid strep/flu/inner-ear infection crap this morning. I started coughing my ass off about 8:30 am and finally stopped for the most part about an hour ago at 6:45 pm-ish. It actually became so painful that it made me cry!!

So, I headed back to the doctor, running late as usual, when I passed a
Subway Restaurant with a Domino's Pizza Delivery Person's car parked RIGHT in front of the Subway window. Originally I found this a bit funny because it was just so random, and my state of mind was crumbing with each and every single cough. Plus I was sitting at the longest Red Light in all of Johnson City, so I had some time on my hands to ponder. Then my new found Weight Watcher's alter ego stepped in and it made me kinda mad. I started to wonder what kind of Domino's Pizza Delivery Person would go to Subway in the middle of the day, and obviously still on the clock, as the concept that one would actually CHOOSE to keep that ugly-ass Domino's sign on top of their car when they AREN'T working is something I simply cannot comprehend. I decided that this kind of person was a skinny one that didn't even think that parking right in front of the window with a Pizza sign on top of their car may be slightly insensitive to all those people in line waiting to purchase their 6 inch under 6 grams of fat Subway sandwich in the hopes that they might become the new Jared. I think I decided this partly because I was currently broaching a cough-induced-insanity-coma, and partly because I was having a bad day and just waiting for someone to take it out on. I learned something about myself today... I must feel better about taking my aggression out on unknown people who I choose simply because they have a Pizza sign on top of their car in front of the Subway window. This apparently makes the Angry, Awesome-Free Alyson feel better. My parent's must be so proud!! And of course, I took a picture:

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So, I was so totally engrossed in these absurd thoughts about the Subway/Pizza Incident, when karma just bit me right in the ass as I suddenly looked around and realized that instead of driving towards my doctor's office, I had just driven aimlessly to a location a good 25 minutes away from there. As previously stated I was ALREADY late to begin with. Needless to say I was about an hour late to my doctor's appointment which in turn caused me to be placed at the END of the patient list for the day thus ending any ideas I might have had about how to spend the rest of my afternoon. So I sat, and coughed, and sat, and coughed, and sat, and coughed for a good 3 1/2 hours waiting to see "Pseudo-Doctor" whom I fully believe was actually just a nurse posing as a doctor to get my hacking~coughy~germy self the hell out of there! To top it off my ear infection is now in both ears, my strep throat is worse, and my cough has taken on a life of its own...

On a MUCH better note I DID get some kick-ass (how many times have I used THAT word in this one single blog??) prescription cough syrup that has thus far caused me to misspell 99% of what I have written here so far. On that note I would like to add that I have now been writing this very post for approximately 2 hours because I keep nodding off. This would be just fine and dandy if I wasn't trying my very best to stay awake long enough to watch what will surely be one of the last "new" episodes of one of my
VERY favorite shows tonight.

And yes I have a
Tivo, two of them actually, which would have not only taken care of this current situation, but would just been excellent in general... if only they haven't been sitting in a box since April because I can't figure out how to hook them up correctly. After the 10th or so time I just gave up, refusing any help from anyone because these little Tivo boxes have now become my personal nemesis. I WILL beat them, I WILL do it alone, and this WILL occur prior to American Idol premiere next week, by GOD!!!

Oh yeah... so my favorite part of the doctor's visit was when I finally got called back she told me to get on the scale. I told her that I had just done this a little over a week ago, and then launched into this rant about how I just started weight watchers, and that today was my first weigh in day but that I didn't want to learn what my weight was with all my heavy clothes on, so if she could just give me a simple thumbs up or a thumbs down I would appreciate it. She agreed and I stepped up on the scale. I waited for her thumb to go up or down as she walked me to my room to no avail. So, I asked her what the verdict was... less weight than last week thumbs up, more weight than last week thumbs down. It was only THEN that she stated she didn't know what I had even been talking about because she didn't have my chart from last week. So, yeah... Thank You SO Much For That!!

When Pseudo-Doc came in I again explained my plight to know my weight, but not for him to tell me my weight. Since the thumbs up/thumbs down request had apparently been too difficult for Pseudo-Nurse, I opted to explain it differently. I also added in that when I weighed myself at home on my technically accurate scale I would like to know the difference between their scale and mine. I thought this might make me sound less like an idiot. Don't know if I was successful or not on the idiot part, but I asked him to please write down today's weight on the tissue paper located next to him and to fold it up. He did, and I stuffed it in my pocket.

THIS, MY DEAR FRIENDS, WAS WAY HARDER THAN THE SCALE STARING AT ME THROUGH THE BOX!! THIS WAS TECHNICALLY MY WEEK ONE WEIGH IN BURNING A HOLE THROUGH MY POCKET!!! D-DAY WASN'T JUST HERE... IT WAS FOLDED UP ON A TISSUE IN MY JEANS!! THIS IS SO FAR FROM ANYTHING I WOULD EVER RECOMMEND TO ANYONE... THOUGH PSEUDO-DOC DID TELL ME THAT THEIR LATE 80'S TYPE SCALE USUALLY WEIGHED PEOPLE AN AVERAGE OF 3 POUNDS OVER WHAT THEIR ACTUAL WEIGHT IS. THIS INFO WOULD HAVE CERTAINLY MADE ME FEEL BETTER LAST WEEK, YET RENT-A-NURSE APPARENTLY DIDN'T FEEL IT NECESSARY TO SHARE. I AM HAPPY TO REPORT, HOWEVER, THAT P-D WAS INDEED CORRECT AS, ONCE UNFOLDED POST-WEIGH IN AT HOME THE NUMBER THEY HAD FOR ME WAS EXACTLY 3 POUNDS MORE THAN MY ACTUAL WEIGHT. AND I KNOW Y'ALL ARE JUST SITTING ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS WAITING FOR MY OFFICIAL RESULTS. AND WE'LL GET THAT... "AFTER THE BREAK"!! HA HA :) I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT AMERICAN IDOL I'VE RESORTED TO STEALING LINES FROM
SEACREST!!

While typing up this random bit of all-over-the-place rambling non-sense I have just re-watched last night's
Grey's Anatomy and have come to a conclusion... well three conclusions actually:

*
McDreamy's main issue in life is that he CANNOT be alone... EVER!! Maybe he should give Singledom a shot? LORD KNOWS IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN "NURSE ROSE"!!!
*
McSteamy is so freaking hot it's ridiculous... and WAY WAY WAY too hot for HER!!!
* And as much as I LOVED
Denny (Raven you should really enjoy this link!!) and LOVE George, since the very 1st season I've truly believed that Izzy belongs with Alex... I think he's always loved her. When he picked her up off Denny's bed in her Prom Dress?? OMG THE TEARS!!! Still the BEST and SADDEST moment of television EVER!! Bring out your Kleenex folks, cause I'm going there on this one...



Since new episodes won't be airing for awhile here's a little video to help us all make it through...



Now onto more totally random topics, because... well, it's Friday and I have nothing else to do!! :)

While waiting for my prescriptions to be filled today at
CVS I did ALL of my Grocery Shopping! I sincerely preferred buying these items from the Drug Store. Everything was SO easy to find and I didn't overspend on things I didn't need just because I happened to stumble upon them like I ALWAYS do at the Grocery Store! I did, however, purposely stumble upon the magazines, where I racked up on all the fabulous gossip rags. I can officially report that Little Miss Crazy Pants graced the cover of every single one of them by the way, which is certainly not shocking these days regardless, though the barricading of herself in her bathroom with one of her babies, followed by the whole "strapped to the gurney" Incident didn't help her out any in the tabloid-world! So I ended up buying ALL of them. Luckily, I also snagged the last copy of this magazine from last week with the wedding photos of Katherine Heigl, and might I add what an absolutely stunning Bride she was...

SADLY, I also stumbled upon but SO DID NOT purchase
THIS, which made me throw up in my mouth a little. So happy this Wanna-Be LOSER can now add President of Slutsville to her already impressive resume of CEO of Bitch Enterprises, and Vice-President of Operations for Back-Stabbing and Jealousy, Inc. At this point I sort of doubt she will get the Promotion to President of the latter company however, as that honor presently goes to somebody a teensy-weensy bit more qualified...

Before I move on, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE I BEG YOU to check out
this totally embarrassing clip of these two... you will SO NOT be disappointed!!

I did buy
this however, just to one-up the magazine mentioned above and show my support for Team Lauren, who looks much more fabulous, and much less slutty than the aforementioned "D- Lister"!!

But back to Brit-Brit y'all!!!
This website, the greatest of them all in my opinion, just reported that not ONLY is the Queen of Trainwrecks back in California, but that she didn't waste a single minute getting back in the action! They also said that if she doesn't show up for her deposition (again) on Monday she might lose the kids for good. All my experience in the Juvenile Court System tells me that this would in no way be a forever kind of thing, but GOOD GOD GIRL GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!!!

And although this is certainly NOT breaking news, HOW IN THE WORLD is
this woman, who by all accounts and based on her children's situations alone, is an AWFUL mother, writing a book about motherhood that while "delayed" may actually be published??!!?? It's nowhere near as bad an idea as OJ's Infamous book, but it's up there as far as hypocrisy goes!! I also quickly learned when working for Juvenile Court and Children's Services that an estimate of around 80% of the troubled teens I worked with got into trouble as the result of a total lack of decent Parenting. It's pathetic.

On the Reality TV front, I neglected to mention two other shows that I Love and will surely assist me in making it through this strike! One is of course,
this show, which is so inspiring!! The other is new, and I am not quite sure about it just yet but anyone out there that knows me is fully aware that in my opinion TIARA'S = PERFECTION, and as you can see in the majority of my pictures, I own a several tiara's and wear them as often as possible... to occasions involving alcohol, when walking the dogs, and especially when I am cleaning... it's truly the PERFECT accessory!! It just makes you feel good to have one on your head (I also have a fake Oscar, but we'll get into that another day!!). And thankfully, although I was never in one, I am a total Pageant Junkie!! Not the silly ones, but the Major ones like this, this, this and this one, which is the focus for this new reality show. Of course the best part of watching these pageants Live is that I get to see fabulous moments like this one right when they happen...



(SIDE NOTE: SHE WAS
MISS TENNESSEE WHEN SHE WON MISS USA)

And this one, which I firmly believe is #1 in the Pageant Moments Hall of Fame, and will NEVER lose it's ranking...



I COULD REALLY WATCH THAT VIDEO OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LAUGH!!

Anywho... back to the reality show. It's quite hilarious actually! Tonight was fascinating, as
Miss Florida faced her biggest fear when she had to jump in the pool because her make-up would come off!! Miss Illinois outright refused a make-over because she strongly felt that by cutting her hair she would look different than she does in her pageant picture thus causig her to definitely not win the pageant. Miss Utah took the cake though when her response to a history question was "The Emancipation of the Proclamation"... HA HA!! TOO FABULOUS!! Here's a little proof of my tiara love, and how I buy them from here to endow those that are deserving of one every year at Christmas... we call it the "Tiara Club" and I assure all of my girls reading this who have yet to be bestowed with a tiara from me that you have certainly earned it... it's simply a matter of logistics until you get yours! :-)

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One last thing before I share my weight watcher verdict... I saw this youtube on Anderson Cooper and almost peed my pants!! Apparently it was a very SLOW news day for the folks of Cincinnati!!! HA HA HA!!!! This video should cheer you up after all that Grey's drama you just watched above...



OKAY FOLKS, HERE IT IS (DRUMROLL PLEASE...) WEEK ONE WEIGH IN HAS ME DOWN 8 POUNDS!!! I WAS HOPING FOR 10 BUT THAT'S A LITTLE RIDICULOUS, AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY DISAPPOINTED WITH ANYTHING 5 OR LESS BECAUSE I WORKED SO HARD & YOU ALWAYS LOSE THE MOST THE FIRST WEEK. 8 IS REALLY GOOD THOUGH, EVEN GREAT!!!! AND I AM REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF!! YAY ME!!!

So this blog is like 75 pages long and completely all over the place as far as my line of thinking, so if you made it through it... YAY YOU!!! I swear I'm not Looney Tunes, at least no more than I was before!! Just heavily medicated on some seriously hardcore cough syrup... maybe Brit-Brit can use that as that as a reason for her erratic behavior too!! As strong as this stuff is I might even be inclined to believe her!!!

xoxo,
baxter

PS- Although I wrote this blog Friday night I just couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to add the links and such so that is why I didn't post it until today!!

1 comment:

rebecca said...

You are completely cracking me up! I am absolutely loving reading your blog. Thank you for the cheer! And as a mom of three little tiara girls-in-waiting, I completely agree with you!
Rebecca