MEAN GIRL

OKAY FIRST OF ALL, WHERE OH WHERE WAS KATE BECKINSALE WHEN THE OSCAR RED CARPET NEEDED HER?? BECAUSE SHE SHOWED UP TO THE GOVERNOR'S BALL AFTERWARDS LOOKING LIKE THIS, WHICH WOULD HAVE CERTAINLY ENSURED HER THE NUMBER ONE SPOT ON MY BEST DRESSED LIST...

SECONDLY, WHAT SCHMUCK OUT THERE LEAKED THE STORY ABOUT PRINCE HARRY SERVING IN AFGHANISTAN?? THAT IS JUST WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS. THE GUY GOES OFF TO ACTUALLY FIGHT IN THE REAL COUNTRY WE SHOULD BE AT WAR WITH, AND HIS COVER GETS BLOWN. SINCE THE STORY BROKE THEY HAVE, OF COURSE PULLED HIS DUTIES THERE TO PROTECT THE SAFETY OF HIM AND HIS UNIT. HASN'T THE KID BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH IN HIS LIFE?? LET HIM SERVE IN THE MILITARY AND FIGHT THE WAR WE SHOULD ACTUALLY BE FIGHTING BECAUSE HE ISN'T PRETENTIOUS ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT THE TITLE OF "PRINCE" MAKES HIM ANY BETTER THAN HIS FRIENDS AND FELLOW SOLDIERS. SCREW WHOEVER IT IS THAT BROKE THIS STORY AND LET HARRY AND WILLIAM TOO FOR THAT MATTER ACTUALLY LIVE THEIR LIVES THE WAY THEY CHOOSE TO.



AND FOR THE RECORD, YES I DO BELIEVE HARRY TO BE THE HOTTEST OF THE TWO. I CAN'T HELP IT.

HAVE Y'ALL SEEN THIS YET??

RACHEL BILSON. HER NEW BANGS ARE THE BOMB. IF I COULD PULL OF WEARING BANGS, THIS IS HOW I'D DO IT. IT'S FABULOUS.

SO MY FRIENDS, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. IT APPEARS THAT I HAVE SOME MAJOR COMPETITION FOR THE MAN OF MY DREAMS. APPARENTLY SCARLETT JOHANSSON HAS ANNOUNCED THAT SHE IS ENGAGED.



GOOD FOR HER, RIGHT??!! NOT SO MUCH SINCE SHE SAYS SHE IS ENGAGED TO MY MAN...

I'D SAY BARACK HAS SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!! HAHA :-)

IN CELEBRITY TRAINWRECK NEWS, LINDSAY LOHAN'S LITTLE SISTER ALI HAS DECIDED THAT HER BIG SIS IS SO TOTALLY AWESOME THAT SHE IS PLANNING TO FOLLOW IN HER FOOTSTEPS AND RECORD AN ALBUM AND DO SOME ACTING.

GOSH, THAT SURE DOES SOUND LIKE A GREAT IDEA TO ME. LA LOHAN IS THE PERFECT ROLE MODEL, YOU KNOW.

SHE'S FALLEN OFF THE WAGON TOO BY THE WAY. UNLESS SHE JUST ENJOYS FALLING DOWN OUTSIDE OF BARS IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING...



OH, AND BY THE WAY IT APPEARS PARIS HILTON IS NOW A HOMEWRECKER...

THIS IS THE OTHER BROTHER FROM GOOD CHARLOTTE. HE BROKE OFF HIS ENGAGEMENT TO HIS LONG-TIME GIRLFRIEND LAST WEEK. WONDER WHY??

IN EVEN MORE RANDOM CELEBRITY DEVELOPMENTS, THERE IS SPECULATION THAT ORLANDO BLOOM HAS GONE FROM DATING HER...

TO DATING HER...

BESIDES THE WORDS "ARE YOU JOKING?", "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!", AND "WTF" I REALLY HAVE NO COMMENT ON THIS PROPOSTEROUS TURN OF EVENTS.

MOVING ON, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT I HEART REALITY TV. WELL, IN ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIC AND DEVASTATING NEWS, MY BEAUTIFUL ALEX WAS EVICTED FROM THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE ON WEDNESDAY. I AM NOT TAKING THIS WELL.

I MEAN LOOK AT HIM!! WOULD YOU BE TAKING THIS WELL?? I THINK NOT!!

THE ONLY POSITIVE TO THIS AWFUL TURN OF EVENTS IS THAT THERE IS APPARENTLY A HUGE BIG BROTHER TWIST COMING UP THIS WEEK AND THE COUPLES WILL LIKELY BE BROKEN DOWN TO PLAY AS SINGLES. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE SHOW THIS SEASON, JUST SKIP OVER ALL THIS BECAUSE YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

THE BIG RUMOR IS THAT ONE OR TWO OF THE ALREADY EVICTED HOUSEGUESTS THIS SEASON WILL BE VOTED BACK IN BY AMERICA AFTER TUESDAY'S SHOW AND WILL RE-ENTER THE GAME ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT. IF THIS IS THE CASE (THIS BETTER BE THE CASE!) THEN MY ALEX IS IN LIKE FLYNN BECAUSE AMERICA LOVES HIM. NOT AS MUCH AS I LOVE HIM OF COURSE, BUT THEY DO LOVE HIM.

WHILE I AM AT IT, I SHOULD MENTION MY OTHER TWO FAVORITE MALE REALITY SHOW CONTESTANTS OF ALL TIME. BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE ALL JUST ABSOLUTELY DYING TO KNOW.

ALSO FROM BIG BROTHER, SEASON 6 AND ALL-STARS SEASON 7, I PRESENT TO YOU KAYSAR RIDHA...

I FREAKING LOVE HIM.

AND LAST BUT NOWHERE NEAR LEAST WE HAVE SURVIVOR'S MAIN MAN OZZY. HE IS THE BEST PHYSICAL PLAYER TO EVER PLAY THIS GAME. HE CAME IN 2nd ON THE COOK ISLANDS SEASON AND THANK GOD IS BACK ON THE CURRENT SEASON JUST KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES.

HE IS SO THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY THURSDAYS!!

ONTO MY LAST TOPIC OF DISCUSSION IN THIS RIDICULOUS POST ABOUT PEOPLE I DON'T AND NEVER WILL KNOW, I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION AMERICAN IDOL.

WE ALREADY HAVE A WINNER HERE FOLKS...



AND HIS NAME IS DAVID ARCHULETA. SERIOUSLY HE IS ONLY 17. EVEN IF YOU DON'T WATCH AMERICAN IDOL YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THE AMAZING CLIP ABOVE. IT'S TWO MINUTES OF GREATNESS...

BUT I'M ALSO PULLING FOR THESE GUYS IN THIS ORDER...

JASON CASTRO

MICHAEL JOHNS

AND DAVID HERNANDEZ

I ALSO LIKE CHEKEZIE EZE, BUT HE HAS APPARENTLY OPTED TO DROP HIS LAST NAME AND IS NOW JUST CHEKEZIE. I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE ON IDOL CHANGE THEIR NAME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOW OR DROP THEIR LAST NAME ALTOGETHER. UNLESS YOU ARE BONO, MADONNA OR PRINCE, KEEP YOUR NAME AS IS PLEASE.

I ONLY LIKE TWO OF THE GIRLS. THE REST I JUST DON'T GET. AND ONE OF THE TWO GIRLS I LIKED WAS ELIMINATED IN A COMPLETELY SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS THIS WEEK...

HER NAME IS ALAINA WHITAKER

THE OTHER ONE I LIKE IS BROOKE WHITE. SHE SHOULD BE AROUND FOR QUITE AWHILE.

IF YOU ARE AN AMERICAN IDOL VIEWER, AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A VOTER... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE REMEMBER SANJAYA MALAKAR!!!



DO YOU NOT SEE THE SECOND COMING OF SANJAYA??? DEAR LORD PLEASE VOTE THIS DANNY NORIEGA KID OFF THIS SHOW IMMEDIATELY. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I REALLY CAN'T. IT'S LIKE HAVING FLASHBACKS EVERYTIME I SEE HIM. LAST YEAR WE WERE AT A PATIO BAR NOT EVEN WATCHING THAT WEEKS' IDOL RESULTS, AND SOMEBODY CAME OUTSIDE AND SAID SANJAYA HAD GOTTEN THE BOOT, AND PEOPLE WERE HIGH-FIVING. IT WAS CRAZY AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW WE ALL GOT A FREE SHOT FROM AN OLDER MAN SITTING AT THE BAR TO TOAST SANJAYA'S DEPARTURE. WHILE FUN THEN, I CAN TAKE NO MORE OF HIS REINCARNATE DANNY...

AS FOR IDOL SCANDALS, THOSE RACY PICS OF THAT TINY PHILLIPINO GIRL THIS YEAR ARE NO BIG DEAL IN CONTRAST TO THESE...

ROCK AND ROLL NURSE WHO ISN'T EVEN GOOD ON THIS SHOW HAS A PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN DUI RAPSHEET...

AND OH-SO-RECENTLY-OUSTED ROBBIE CARRICO, YOU KNOW THE RESIDENT "ROCKER" WITH THE LONG BLONDE HAIR, HAS BEEN BUSTED FOR WEARING A WIG AS TO PRETEND HIS HAIR IS INDEED "ROCKER-LIKE LONG". WHO CARES IF THIS IS TRUE REALLY. IT'S FUNNY TO TALK ABOUT REGARDLESS...

SO THAT JUST ABOUT CLOSES OUT MY RANDOM CELEBRITY POST FOR THE DAY. BUT BEFORE I GO, I MUST ANNOUNCE THAT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE WILL BE IN A MOVIE THIS SUMMER CALLED "THE LOVE GURU"...



AND SOLELY BECAUSE OF THIS SHOT, I WILL BE SEEING THIS MOVIE THE DAMN SECOND IT COMES OUT.

HAPPY LEAP YEAR FOLKS!!
XOXO,
BAXTER

ONLY IN THE TRI!

SO, MAYBE SOME OF YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT THE MASS SHOOTING IN BRISTOL, TN FOLLOWED BY THE GUNMAN SHOOTING HIMSELF SMACK DAB IN MY NECK OF THE WOODS TODAY. IT WAS ON CNN. I SAW IT REPORTED A COUPLE OF TIMES ON THERE. WE NEVER MAKE CNN UNLESS SOMETHING TOTALLY COO-COO HAPPENS. AND WHEN IT DOES THE STORY ALWAYS GETS COMPLETELY LOST IN THE "DID YOU SEE WHERE WE MADE CNN??" CONVO.

AS I SPEAK THERE IS A LIVE PRESS CONFERENCE THEY ARE CARRYING ON ALL OUR LOCAL NEWS STATIONS (YES WE HAVE MORE THAN ONE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH). THE POLICE ARE BEING SO SERIOUS, AS THEY SHOULD BE SINCE THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT 4 PEOPLE WHO WERE MURDERED IN A MASS SHOOTING. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT CNN HEADLINE NEWS IS CARRYING THIS PRESS CONFERENCE LIVE TOO. I JUST CHECKED.

GLAD EVERYONE GOT TO SEE THIS SERIOUS NATIONAL DISPLAY OF NORTHEAST TENNESSEE'S FINEST, BECAUSE MIDWAY INTO THE FIRST QUESTION I HEARD SOMETHING IN THE BACKGROUND. I COULDN'T MAKE OUT WHAT IT WAS AT FIRST BUT THEN I REALIZED WHAT IT WAS.

KENNY CHESNEY.

YEP. AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMEONES RINGTONE AND I FELT BAD FOR THEM. BUT IT WASN'T. IT WAS REALLY A KENNY CHESNEY ALBUM PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE ROOM FOR THE LENGTH OF THE ENTIRE PRESS CONFERENCE ON CNN. SERIOUSLY. I'M NOT EVEN SURPRISED.

IF THIS WAS IN YOUR WORK PARKING LOT WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED??




YEAH. I DIDN'T THINK SO.

LULLABY

SO, I MUST ADMIT I HAVE HAD A ROUGH EVENING. IT'S QUITE DIFFICULT TO SMILE ALL DAY AND PUT ON A BRAVE FRONT WHEN IN ACTUALITY MY HEAD IS SPINNING 24/7. I DON'T REALLY THINK IT'S FAIR THAT I LET MYSELF HAVE A HARD TIME, WHEN CLEARLY MY FATHER IS THE ONE WHO IS SUFFERING. BUT, SELFISH OR NOT, I AM. THIS SUCKS. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO HANDLE IT, EVEN THOUGH WHEN I SEE YOU OR TALK TO YOU I MAY PRETEND TO.

I AM ALSO BEING A BAD FRIEND. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE ALL OF THE PHONE CALLS, TEXT MESSAGES AND E-MAILS Y'ALL HAVE BEEN SENDING MY WAY. IT REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. MOST OF YOU HAVE GOTTEN MY VOICEMAIL. AND I'M SO SORRY FOR THAT. I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS SOMETIMES. AND THEN SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALL I AM ABLE TO TALK ABOUT AND I CAN'T ESCAPE IT. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND WILL CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER WHEN I AM READY TO WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE...

SO YEAH. THIS IS TOUGH. AND I KNOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HAD MAJOR HEALTH PROBLEMS IN YOUR OWN FAMILIES AND GOD BLESS YOU FOR BEING BRAVE IN THOSE BATTLES. I HOPE THAT I TOO WILL BE ABLE TO BE BRAVE IN THIS ONE. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T. LIKE TONIGHT. I WAS LITERALLY 5 MINUTES INTO THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE AND I STARTED BAWLING. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HILLARY CLINTON (HA HA!).

I DO HAVE A VERY AMAZING AND DEAR FRIEND WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE. AND I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO HAROLD FOR BEING THERE EVEN WHEN I AM A WALKING DISASTER. HE HAS REALLY STEPPED UP SINCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT MY DAD AND I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE HIM AS MY FRIEND.

I DECIDED TO SHARE A FAVORITE DADDY STORY WITH YOU TONIGHT. THIS STORY MIGHT EVEN BE MY FAVORITE DADDY STORY. OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER: SURELY YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY BUT I AM A DADDY'S GIRL FROM HELL. I'M NOT SURE ANYONE BEATS ME ON THAT ONE!!

SO, I WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE KNOXVILLE (THE #1 TEAM IN THE COUNTRY IN NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY!!). IT WAS QUITE DIFFICULT FOR MY PARENTS, ESPECIALLY MY DADDY, TO MOVE ME INTO MY DORM AND THEN WALK AWAY. MANY OF YOU HAD THIS EXACT EXPERIENCE.

SOMETIME DURING MY FRESHMAN YEAR, BILLY JOEL RELEASED A SONG AND IT APPARENTLY TOUCHED A CHORD WITH MY DADDY THE FIRST TIME HE HEARD IT. ANYONE WHO KNOWS MY DAD AT ALL KNOWS THAT HE IS A WORK-A-HOLIC AND IT'S QUITE A DIFFICULT ORDEAL TO TEAR HIM AWAY FROM WORK FOR 10 MINUTES. IT'S NOT THAT HARD ANYMORE, BUT IT WAS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE THEN. I DON'T REMEMBER IF IT WAS MY 1st OR 2nd SEMESTER BUT I CAME BACK TO MY DORM AFTER CLASS AND IN MY MAILBOX WAS THIS CASSINGLE (REMEMBER THOSE??) IN THERE WITH A NOTE ATTACHED THAT SAID "WHEN I HEARD THIS SONG I THOUGHT OF YOU AND JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW. I LOVE YOU, DADDY". I IMMEDIATELY CALLED HIM BECAUSE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE GOT THIS TO ME. HE SAID THAT HE HEARD THE SONG ON THE RADIO AND IMMEDIATELY WENT TO BUY IT AND DROVE TO KNOXVILLE TO BRING IT TO ME AND THEN TURNED AROUND AND DROVE BACK. I WAS JUST STUNNED HE HAD DONE THIS! THEN HE ASKED ME IF I HAD LISTENED TO IT YET AND WHEN I SAID I HADN'T HIS RESPONSE WAS "JUST LISTEN"...

THE SONG WAS CALLED "LULLABY" AND BILLY JOEL WROTE IT FOR HIS DAUGHTER. AND I THINK I CRIED FOR DAYS AFTERWARDS. NOW, I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HAVE HUNG ONTO THAT LITTLE CASSINGLE. BUT I HAVE HUNG ONTO THAT SONG. I WILL ALWAYS HANG ONTO THAT SONG. I THINK YOU SHOULD ALL HANG ONTO THIS SONG TOO. EVERYONE HAS A FATHER, AND SOME OF YOU ARE FATHERS. AND THIS SONG MEANS SO SO MUCH TO A DAUGHTER...

Billy Joel - Lullaby (Goodnight, my angel)

THERE IS A LINE THAT SAYS:

"I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away"

... AND I'M HOLDING HIM TO THAT.

THANKS FOR LISTENING :-)
XOXO,
DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL

HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE??

I SAW RICK SPRINGFIELD ON OPRAH TODAY, AND CANNOT BELIEVE THAT HE IS POSSIBLY HOTTER NOW THAN HE WAS DURING THE "JESSIE'S GIRL" DAYS. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO NOTE THAT MY DAD TOOK ME TO SEE RICK SPRINGFIELD AT FREEDOM HALL IN JC WHEN I WAS IN THE 6th GRADE. THIS WAS MY FIRST CONCERT EVER AND IT WAS SUPA-FAB.

IN ADDITION, MY DAD GOT ME AN AUTOGRAPHED POSTER OF RICK WHICH I PROMPTLY PLACED ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY BEDROOM DOOR. BEING THE ABSOLUTE MENACE THAT HE WAS, MY LITTLE BROTHER JOSH DECIDED TO RIP THIS POSTER RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE. THIS CAUSED THE BIGGEST FIGHT WE HAVE POSSIBLY EVER HAD AND WE LITERALLY ALMOST KILLED EACH OTHER.

SO YEAH... THIS MAN IS ALMOST 60 YEARS OLD.





HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?? DOES HE REMOTELY LOOK 60 TO YOU??

XOXO,
STILL CRUSHING ON RICK SPRINGFIELD BAXTER

DADDY UPDATE

QUICK UPDATE ON MY DAD. HE HAD HIS BONE MARROW BIOPSY YESTERDAY (MONDAY) AND ALL WENT WELL. THEY SAY IT IS A RIDICULOUSLY PAINFUL PROCEDURE, BUT HE WAS ON SOME DRUG THEY GAVE HIM AND DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. WHEN I CALLED HIM HE ANSWERED THE PHONE "YO" WHICH, IF YOU KNOW MY DADDY IS HILARIOUSLY OUT OF CHARACTER!!

WORST, WORST, WORST PART IS THAT IT COULD BE UP TO A WEEK BEFORE WE KNOW THE RESULTS. TALK ABOUT THE LONGEST. WEEK. EVER... IT ALREADY FEELS LIKE A WEEK HAS GONE BY AND IT'S ONLY BEEN 12 HOURS.

SO WHEN I KNOW MORE, YOU'LL KNOW MORE. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS AND KEEP THEM PRAYERS A COMIN'!!!

XOXO,

LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE BAX

JIMMY AND BEN...

IT'S TAKING ME FOREVER TO POST MY OSCARS BLOG SO IN THE MEANTIME PLEASE ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES WITH THIS HILARIOUS CLIP FROM THE KIMMEL SHOW LAST NIGHT. YOU MIGHT SAY IT'S JIMMY'S REVENGE FOR THAT WHOLE HIS GIRLFRIEND IS F***ING MATT DAMON THING...

PLEASE NOTE THE BRAD PITT, ROBIN WILLIAMS, DON CHEADLE, CAMERON DIAZ, JOSH GROBAN AMONG MANY MORE CELEBRITY GUEST APPEARANCES...



AND MAY THIS BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY AS MUCH AS IT HAS MY OWN!

SNOOZE-FEST 2008

ARE THE OSCARS STILL ON?? BECAUSE I AM PRETTY SURE YOU COULD STILL FLIP BACK TO ABC AND THEY WOULD STILL BE AIRING LIVE. WHAT A LONG AND TOTALLY BLAND NIGHT!

THE OSCARS SUCKED.

EXCEPT JON STEWART. HE WAS FABULOUS! THE FASHION WAS COMPLETELY BORING. MORE BORING THAN I MIGHT HAVE EVER SEEN AT ANY OSCAR AWARDS SHOW. AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I HAVE WATCHED THEM ALL.

FRIENDS I PRESENT TO YOU THE VERY BEST DRESSED FEMALE:



KATHERINE HEIGL. I ACTUALLY SAID "THANK GOD" OUT LOUD WHEN I SAW HER BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE LOOKED SO BLAH.

AND THE WORST DRESSED FEMALE.



THE WIFE OF DANIEL DAY-LEWIS. SERIOUSLY, SHE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO WIN AND THAT SHE WOULD BE ON CAMERA. IF SHE WAS TRYING TO MAKE A STATEMENT SHE DID. IT READS "I HAVE NO STYLIST AND WAS ON DRUGS WHEN I DECIDED THIS WAS MY OSCARS DRESS."

AND BY THE WAY, HER HUBBY LOOKS AWFUL AS WELL. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE...

BEST DRESSED MALE. TOUGH CATEGORY FOLKS. I REALIZE THEY ARE ALL BASICALLY WEARING TUXEDO'S BUT YOU GOTTA ADMIT THAT SOME JUST PULL THIS OFF BETTER THAN OTHERS. AND HONESTLY, BESIDES KATHERINE HEIGL, THE GUYS FAR OUTSHONE THE WOMEN LAST NIGHT.

CLOONEY. LIKE I WASN'T GOING TO PICK HIM?? LOOK AT HIM!!



McDREAMY. HE LIVED UP TO HIS TITLE AND THEN SOME.



I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT McDREAMY'S WIFE MADE MY BEST DRESSED LIST. SHE LOOKS AWESOME AND I ADORE THE COLOR OF HER DRESS. IT WAS THE KIND OF DRESS I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO SEE MORE OF LAST NIGHT.



NOW FOR THE IN-BETWEENS.

THE REMAINDER OF MY BEST DRESSED LIST:

CAMERON DIAZ



SHE CAN PULL ANYTHING OFF. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

JENNIFER GARNER



SHE'S STUNNING. I LOVE THE WHOLE LOOK. ONLY THING MISSING WAS BEN, AND WE ALL KNOW HE WAS BUSY F***ING JIMMY KIMMEL.

JASON BATEMAN



TEEN WOLF LIVES ON IN STYLE BABY!!!

FORREST WHITAKER AND WIFE



WOW. THEY ARE VERY, VERY CLASSY COUPLE!

CASEY AFFLECK



THOUGHT HE LOOKED GREAT!! MANY MAY DISAGREE BUT THOSE AFFLECK'S ARE HOT!!

PENELOPE CRUZ



I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT HER CLAIM TO FAME IS HER BEAUTY, AS HER ACTING REALLY SUCKS. SHE PROVED ME RIGHT LAST NIGHT.

AND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE ARE THE WTF'S...

RYAN SEACREST



I COULDN'T FIND A PICTURE, SO I THOUGHT I WOULD JUST INCORPORATE SEACREST'S TERRIBLE FASHION CHOICE WITH MY FAVORITE OSCAR MOMENT OF THE NIGHT. THE GARY BUSEY ATTACK. GOD LOVE JENNIFER GARNER. SHE LOOKS TERRIFIED.

MARION COTILLARD



I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS WOMAN IS OR HOW THE HELL YOU PRONOUNCE THE NAME OF HER MOVIE. I ALSO HAVE NO IDEA HOW SHE WON THE OSCAR BUT SHE LOOKED SO HAPPY WHEN SHE DID. IT WAS THE ONLY NICE MOMENT OF THE NIGHT FOR HER THOUGH, AS SHE HAD TO IMMEDIATELY LEAVE THE CEREMONY AFTERWARDS TO GET UP EARLY TODAY AND FILM "SPLASH II".

TILDA WHO CARES WHAT HER LAST NAME IS SHE SCARES ME...



I MEAN SERIOUSLY. SHE SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

CATE BLANCHETT



CATE HONEY. YOU ARE 0 FOR 2 SO FAR AND THERE ARE NO MORE AWARD SHOWS LEFT. GUESS YOU BETTER GET BACK TO FILMING ANOTHER MOVIE ABOUT ELIZABETH TO ENSURE YOUR SEAT AT NEXT YEARS OSCARS. BECAUSE REALLY... WHO CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THOSE ELIZABETH MOVIES??!!

CLOONEYS DATE



THIS GIRL HAS HIT THE FREAKING JACKPOT. SHE'S WITH CLOONEY. NOBODY KNOWS WHY. AND THIS IS WHAT SHE WEARS TO THE OSCARS?? HER EASTER DRESS?? G.A.G.

HELEN MIRREN



I'M SORRY YOUR HIENESS BUT THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS OUTFIT. OFF WITH HER HEAD!

JENNIFER HUDSON



SO J HUD CLEARLY HAS NO IDEA HOW TO DO THE OSCARS. THIS ISN'T AS BAD AS LAST YEARS BUT IT'S CLOSE. I CRINGED WHEN I SAW IT. SERIOUSLY.

OTHER NOTABLES:

HEIDI KLUM IS FABULOUS BY DAY



AND REDRACULA BY NIGHT



MILEY CYRUS



1. WHY WAS SHE AT THE OSCARS AGAIN??
2. DID I MISS THE PICS OF HER 40TH BIRTHDAY PARTY IN US WEEKLY??

KERI RUSSELL



EITHER WEAR YOUR FELICITY HAIR DOWN OR WEAR A DRESS THAT DOESN'T MATCH YOUR SKIN. AND FOR GOD SAKES KERI, STAND UP STRAIGHT.

VIGGO MOUNTAIN MAN MORTENSON



DUDE. SHAVE. IT'S THE DAMN OSCARS.

KRISTEN CHENOWITH



IS THERE ANYONE CUTER THAN HER IN THE WHOLE WORLD?? SO WHY GOD WHY MUST SHE WEAR A DRESS THAT MAKES HER MIDSECTION LOOK BIGGER THAN THAN HER ENTIRE BEING??

TRAVOLTA/PRESTON



THE SCIENTOLOGISTS MADE THEM DO THIS. YUCK.

WHILE WE ARE ON THE TOPIC OF THE OSCARS I FEEL IT NECESSARY TO SHOW YOU MY FAVORITE OSCAR DRESS OF ALL TIME. NOTHING WILL EVER BEAT IT. PLUS IT'S WORN BY MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE CELEBRITY.




SERIOUSLY. SHE SHOULD TEACH A CLASS IN THIS SHIT.

SORRY MY OSCAR COMMENTARY IS NOT AS FUNNY AS MY GRAMMY OR SAG AWARDS COMMENTARY BUT IF YOU ACTUALLY WATCHED THIS EVENT LAST NIGHT, YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND WHY I'M JUST NOT FEELIN' IT THIS YEAR...

IN OTHER NEWS THERE IS A SMALL POSSIBILITY I AM IN LOVE WITH ALEX FROM BIG BROTHER 9...



XOXO,
BAXTER

PS- ANGELINA JOLIE IS SINGLE-HANDEDLY REPOPULATING THE EARTH...