SO, I MUST ADMIT I HAVE HAD A ROUGH EVENING. IT'S QUITE DIFFICULT TO SMILE ALL DAY AND PUT ON A BRAVE FRONT WHEN IN ACTUALITY MY HEAD IS SPINNING 24/7. I DON'T REALLY THINK IT'S FAIR THAT I LET MYSELF HAVE A HARD TIME, WHEN CLEARLY MY FATHER IS THE ONE WHO IS SUFFERING. BUT, SELFISH OR NOT, I AM. THIS SUCKS. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO HANDLE IT, EVEN THOUGH WHEN I SEE YOU OR TALK TO YOU I MAY PRETEND TO.
I AM ALSO BEING A BAD FRIEND. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE ALL OF THE PHONE CALLS, TEXT MESSAGES AND E-MAILS Y'ALL HAVE BEEN SENDING MY WAY. IT REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. MOST OF YOU HAVE GOTTEN MY VOICEMAIL. AND I'M SO SORRY FOR THAT. I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS SOMETIMES. AND THEN SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALL I AM ABLE TO TALK ABOUT AND I CAN'T ESCAPE IT. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND WILL CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER WHEN I AM READY TO WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE...
SO YEAH. THIS IS TOUGH. AND I KNOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HAD MAJOR HEALTH PROBLEMS IN YOUR OWN FAMILIES AND GOD BLESS YOU FOR BEING BRAVE IN THOSE BATTLES. I HOPE THAT I TOO WILL BE ABLE TO BE BRAVE IN THIS ONE. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T. LIKE TONIGHT. I WAS LITERALLY 5 MINUTES INTO THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE AND I STARTED BAWLING. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HILLARY CLINTON (HA HA!).
I DO HAVE A VERY AMAZING AND DEAR FRIEND WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE. AND I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO HAROLD FOR BEING THERE EVEN WHEN I AM A WALKING DISASTER. HE HAS REALLY STEPPED UP SINCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT MY DAD AND I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE HIM AS MY FRIEND.
I DECIDED TO SHARE A FAVORITE DADDY STORY WITH YOU TONIGHT. THIS STORY MIGHT EVEN BE MY FAVORITE DADDY STORY. OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER: SURELY YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY BUT I AM A DADDY'S GIRL FROM HELL. I'M NOT SURE ANYONE BEATS ME ON THAT ONE!!
SO, I WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE KNOXVILLE (THE #1 TEAM IN THE COUNTRY IN NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY!!). IT WAS QUITE DIFFICULT FOR MY PARENTS, ESPECIALLY MY DADDY, TO MOVE ME INTO MY DORM AND THEN WALK AWAY. MANY OF YOU HAD THIS EXACT EXPERIENCE.
SOMETIME DURING MY FRESHMAN YEAR, BILLY JOEL RELEASED A SONG AND IT APPARENTLY TOUCHED A CHORD WITH MY DADDY THE FIRST TIME HE HEARD IT. ANYONE WHO KNOWS MY DAD AT ALL KNOWS THAT HE IS A WORK-A-HOLIC AND IT'S QUITE A DIFFICULT ORDEAL TO TEAR HIM AWAY FROM WORK FOR 10 MINUTES. IT'S NOT THAT HARD ANYMORE, BUT IT WAS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE THEN. I DON'T REMEMBER IF IT WAS MY 1st OR 2nd SEMESTER BUT I CAME BACK TO MY DORM AFTER CLASS AND IN MY MAILBOX WAS THIS CASSINGLE (REMEMBER THOSE??) IN THERE WITH A NOTE ATTACHED THAT SAID "WHEN I HEARD THIS SONG I THOUGHT OF YOU AND JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW. I LOVE YOU, DADDY". I IMMEDIATELY CALLED HIM BECAUSE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE GOT THIS TO ME. HE SAID THAT HE HEARD THE SONG ON THE RADIO AND IMMEDIATELY WENT TO BUY IT AND DROVE TO KNOXVILLE TO BRING IT TO ME AND THEN TURNED AROUND AND DROVE BACK. I WAS JUST STUNNED HE HAD DONE THIS! THEN HE ASKED ME IF I HAD LISTENED TO IT YET AND WHEN I SAID I HADN'T HIS RESPONSE WAS "JUST LISTEN"...
THE SONG WAS CALLED "LULLABY" AND BILLY JOEL WROTE IT FOR HIS DAUGHTER. AND I THINK I CRIED FOR DAYS AFTERWARDS. NOW, I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HAVE HUNG ONTO THAT LITTLE CASSINGLE. BUT I HAVE HUNG ONTO THAT SONG. I WILL ALWAYS HANG ONTO THAT SONG. I THINK YOU SHOULD ALL HANG ONTO THIS SONG TOO. EVERYONE HAS A FATHER, AND SOME OF YOU ARE FATHERS. AND THIS SONG MEANS SO SO MUCH TO A DAUGHTER...
I AM ALSO BEING A BAD FRIEND. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE ALL OF THE PHONE CALLS, TEXT MESSAGES AND E-MAILS Y'ALL HAVE BEEN SENDING MY WAY. IT REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. MOST OF YOU HAVE GOTTEN MY VOICEMAIL. AND I'M SO SORRY FOR THAT. I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS SOMETIMES. AND THEN SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALL I AM ABLE TO TALK ABOUT AND I CAN'T ESCAPE IT. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND WILL CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER WHEN I AM READY TO WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE...
SO YEAH. THIS IS TOUGH. AND I KNOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HAD MAJOR HEALTH PROBLEMS IN YOUR OWN FAMILIES AND GOD BLESS YOU FOR BEING BRAVE IN THOSE BATTLES. I HOPE THAT I TOO WILL BE ABLE TO BE BRAVE IN THIS ONE. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T. LIKE TONIGHT. I WAS LITERALLY 5 MINUTES INTO THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE AND I STARTED BAWLING. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HILLARY CLINTON (HA HA!).
I DO HAVE A VERY AMAZING AND DEAR FRIEND WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE. AND I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO HAROLD FOR BEING THERE EVEN WHEN I AM A WALKING DISASTER. HE HAS REALLY STEPPED UP SINCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT MY DAD AND I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE HIM AS MY FRIEND.
I DECIDED TO SHARE A FAVORITE DADDY STORY WITH YOU TONIGHT. THIS STORY MIGHT EVEN BE MY FAVORITE DADDY STORY. OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER: SURELY YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY BUT I AM A DADDY'S GIRL FROM HELL. I'M NOT SURE ANYONE BEATS ME ON THAT ONE!!
SO, I WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE KNOXVILLE (THE #1 TEAM IN THE COUNTRY IN NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY!!). IT WAS QUITE DIFFICULT FOR MY PARENTS, ESPECIALLY MY DADDY, TO MOVE ME INTO MY DORM AND THEN WALK AWAY. MANY OF YOU HAD THIS EXACT EXPERIENCE.
SOMETIME DURING MY FRESHMAN YEAR, BILLY JOEL RELEASED A SONG AND IT APPARENTLY TOUCHED A CHORD WITH MY DADDY THE FIRST TIME HE HEARD IT. ANYONE WHO KNOWS MY DAD AT ALL KNOWS THAT HE IS A WORK-A-HOLIC AND IT'S QUITE A DIFFICULT ORDEAL TO TEAR HIM AWAY FROM WORK FOR 10 MINUTES. IT'S NOT THAT HARD ANYMORE, BUT IT WAS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE THEN. I DON'T REMEMBER IF IT WAS MY 1st OR 2nd SEMESTER BUT I CAME BACK TO MY DORM AFTER CLASS AND IN MY MAILBOX WAS THIS CASSINGLE (REMEMBER THOSE??) IN THERE WITH A NOTE ATTACHED THAT SAID "WHEN I HEARD THIS SONG I THOUGHT OF YOU AND JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW. I LOVE YOU, DADDY". I IMMEDIATELY CALLED HIM BECAUSE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE GOT THIS TO ME. HE SAID THAT HE HEARD THE SONG ON THE RADIO AND IMMEDIATELY WENT TO BUY IT AND DROVE TO KNOXVILLE TO BRING IT TO ME AND THEN TURNED AROUND AND DROVE BACK. I WAS JUST STUNNED HE HAD DONE THIS! THEN HE ASKED ME IF I HAD LISTENED TO IT YET AND WHEN I SAID I HADN'T HIS RESPONSE WAS "JUST LISTEN"...
THE SONG WAS CALLED "LULLABY" AND BILLY JOEL WROTE IT FOR HIS DAUGHTER. AND I THINK I CRIED FOR DAYS AFTERWARDS. NOW, I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HAVE HUNG ONTO THAT LITTLE CASSINGLE. BUT I HAVE HUNG ONTO THAT SONG. I WILL ALWAYS HANG ONTO THAT SONG. I THINK YOU SHOULD ALL HANG ONTO THIS SONG TOO. EVERYONE HAS A FATHER, AND SOME OF YOU ARE FATHERS. AND THIS SONG MEANS SO SO MUCH TO A DAUGHTER...
THERE IS A LINE THAT SAYS:
"I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away"
... AND I'M HOLDING HIM TO THAT.
THANKS FOR LISTENING :-)
XOXO,
DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL
2 comments:
wow, what a great story. i can't wait to listen/watch the video. :) thanks for sharing. keep holding onto those positive thoughts.
That is a special song for us, too. Kyle is a HUGE Billy Joel fan and this is his song for our girls.
What a special thing for a daddy to do! I love that he drove to leave it for you.
I'm glad you have this song and story.
I can't imagine how hard this must be for you and I'm sure everyone knows that - so no guilty feelings from you!
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