SO DAD HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN ACCEPTED INTO THE CLINICAL TRIAL PROGRAM AT M.D. ANDERSON. HOWEVER, WE HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST ON WHEN HE WILL ACTUALLY BE GOING THERE. THIS WHOLE THING IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING PROCESS E.V.E.R. - NOT ANYWHERE NEAR AS BAD AS FINDING OUT HE HAS LEUKEMIA, OBVIOUSLY, BUT FRUSTRATING TO THE ABSOLUTE CORE.
I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO KNOW WHO FEELS IT APPROPRIATE TO LET THIS MAN BASICALLY SIT ON HIS HANDS AND DO NOTHING TO COMBAT THIS ILLNESS UNTIL THEY HAVE ROOM TO ACCOMMODATE HIM AT THIS HOSPITAL. HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE ANY DRUGS IN THE MEANTIME BECAUSE IT WOULD ELIMINATE HIS ELIGIBILITY IN THE CLINICAL TRIAL PROGRAM TO BEGIN WITH. SO YEAH. HE IS DEALING WITH HIS LEUKEMIA BY DOING NOTHING RIGHT NOW AND IT IS HONESTLY MAKING ME CRAZY.
I HAD A HORRIBLE WEEKEND DEALING WITH THIS. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW MUCH WORSE THE LEUKEMIA COULD BE GETTING EACH DAY WITHOUT TREATMENT. FINDING IT EARLY IS ONE THING. WAITING TO TREAT IT IS QUITE ANOTHER.
I CALLED HOME THE OTHER NIGHT AT 7pm AND DAD WAS ASLEEP. I COULDN'T BELIEVE THIS. IT IS SO COMPLETELY NOT LIKE MY DAD AT ALL. WHEN I SPOKE TO HIM ON SUNDAY HE SAID THIS WAS PRETTY MUCH THE DRILL THESE DAYS. HE COMES HOME FROM WORK, GOES TO BED AND WAKES UP EVERY TWO HOURS TOO EXHAUSTED TO DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT TRY TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.
THIS SCARES ME. HE'S NOW 3 WEEKS TO THE DAY PAST HIS INITIAL PHYSICAL THAT LED TO HIS DIAGNOSIS. WHO KNOWS HOW MANY WEEKS OR MONTHS IT HAS BEEN SINCE HE DEVELOPED THE LEUKEMIA IN THE FIRST PLACE. I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE RATIONALE BEHIND THE WAITING FOR TREATMENT THING. AND I CAN'T ESCAPE THE THOUGHT THAT THIS DELAY IS STRENGTHENING THIS DISEASE THAT IS RUNNING RAMPANT IN HIS BODY WITH NOTHING TO COMBAT IT.
DOES THIS EVEN MAKE SENSE OR AM I ACTUALLY LOSING MY MIND OVER NOTHING??
ANYWAY, HOPEFULLY I WILL BE BACK WITH BETTER NEWS SOON. I JUST WANT THE MAN ON A PLANE TO HOUSTON TO BEGIN THE PROCESS OF KICKING LEUKEMIA'S ASS. I REALLY DON'T THINK THIS IS TOO MUCH TO ASK.
AGAIN, THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT,
ALYSON
2 comments:
Vent anytime you want~ Don't worry they will get him in soon! He's still fighting this disease - clinical trial or not! Just keep the faith. :)
You're going to meet a whole bunch of folks in the medical who you think should do more but don't in before this is all over. Best wishes for you all.
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